Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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