i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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