Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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