Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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