umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
