Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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