Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
