they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
