It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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