He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You've changed since you got that strap on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
