You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
