hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
