You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
