..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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