You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
