she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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