that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
