I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Your dad touched me again.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
