Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
