the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
