Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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