Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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