Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
