I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
