I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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