i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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