shes about as inviting as chlamydia
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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