My pussy is not your playground.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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