It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
