Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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