She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize