oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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