Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
