Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
