oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
