I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
