You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
