Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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