Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
