Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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