Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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