i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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