You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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