I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
