so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
