I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
