her vagine was all disorganized.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
