Its about making memories worth repressing
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
