Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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