Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
