I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
